KEEP THE SCORE
A try – five points
A try is worth five points. To achieve a try, a player has to fight tooth and nail to lunge himself and the ball across the try line and place the ball in the in-goal area behind the try line, whilst 15 thuggish men, who will stop at nothing short of GBH, try their very best to stop him. Once upon a time you wouldn’t get points for crossing the line, instead merely an attempt or ‘try’ at kicking the ball through the goals was enough – hence a try.
Conversion kick – two points
After a try is scored, the celebratory team have a chance at kicking the ball through the goal posts – this is called a conversion and it’s worth an extra two points. Wherever the ball was placed on the ground to achieve the try, the ball must be placed in a straight line down the pitch to kick from. Players scoring the try keep this vital rule in mind and after crossing the try line, they veer as near to goal as possible to touch the ball down before feeling the brute force of the opposition bringing them one step away from an ambulance.
When the goal kicker runs at the ball to kick, the opposing team can rush at him. For a conversion kick the ball must travel through the goal posts and above the crossbar.
Drop goal – three points
A drop kick/drop goal is worth three points, most likely because dropping a ball and kicking it through a goal mid-play is so supremely difficult.
Penalty kick – three points
If a penalty is awarded the team may choose (depending on the foul) a kick to goal, to run with the ball, scrum or if they get a kick to touch: a lineout follows. The kick is taken from where the penalty occurred or if less than five metres to goal it must be taken five metres out from goal in a line from where the penalty occurred.
Penalty try – five points
If the defending team pull a foul move which stops the attacking team potentially achieving a try, then a penalty try can be awarded to the wronged team. The penalty try is worth five points and a conversion kick is also given. Potentially a foul could cost seven points.
After the coin toss, the winning team decide which direction to play first. It’s not just about chest beating, this can make a difference on a windy or sunny day. The playing team kick the ball from the halfway line in the direction of the opposition. Rules of the game state the ball must travel at least ten metres (to the aptly named 10-metre line) or the referee can call a re-kick or a Scrum.
The Kicker has the choice to either kick long and back towards the , so that the opposition have a long way to move back to attack. Or, he can kick high and short resulting in his team being in the better position to play forward. Each way has its benefits and drawbacks, and it falls down to game plan and the Kicker’s good wisdom.
The first rule of rugby is that the ball in play cannot be passed forward. It can be passed sideways or backwards only. Therefore, all teammates are best placed behind the player holding or running with the ball or they will be Offside if the ball is passed to them.
This means that a team has to work hard to get down the pitch with a ball to the .
The ball can be kicked forward but this is a risky move of ‘who can run the fastest’ and ‘who has the most brute force’ to stop the opposition getting possession first. A rugby ball doesn’t traverse the smoothest path on the grass and it can be unpredictable as to where it goes. A long kick along the field is a called a Grubber kick and a high kick is a GarryOwen.
A match lasts for 80 minutes, divided into two halves of 40 minutes each separated by a ten minute break. Additional time can be added by the referee as he sees fit to cover time for injury (pretty common). Interestingly, the game can only end once the ball is kicked out of play, so potentially a game could go on forever…
A ruck involves at least three players or more and only their feet. Question: when is a ruck a ruck? Answer: when it’s on the ground and feet are stamping around. If it’s off the ground and in the players’ hands, then it’s a Maul. The ruck happens after a tackle or when the ball is all alone and loose on the ground.
If a Tackle has taken place, the player tackled has a few seconds to place the ball on the ground. Forwards then rush over to Bind together over the ball, in what looks like a mini Scrum with a player grabbing the opposition around the waist and shoulders.
The aim of the ruck is to drive each other backwards away from the ball and rake the ball backwards with their feet towards their Scrum-Half.
Scrum-Half is a key player in a ruck, as he directs the guys bound together over the ball and can grab the ball as soon as it moves backwards. He then has to make the decision where the play should move to next.
Key phrase according to the All Blacks is: bend, bind and drive.
As with a Ruck, the rule is: when it’s on the ground it’s a ruck, when it’s in the hands it’s a maul.
A player gets possession of the ball, is happily charging forwards and is then Tackled, but he maintains his balance and stays upright. His teammates then get behind him, grabbing him between the waist and shoulders to help drive forwards, whilst the opposition holds tight trying to push backwards. It’s not unlike being the meat in a very brutal and sweaty sandwich.
A maul has to keep moving forward and as soon as it stops in a ‘use it or lose it’ situation, the ball has to be passed or a scrum is awarded to the opposition.
Technically a maul can move all the way across the to score and a nifty move involves passing the ball back, between and behind each other to keep the ball ‘safe’. This is called a driving maul.
A rolling maul is a devastating tactical move and is impressive to watch if done properly. The ball is passed to the side of the maul where the opposition is weakest. The teammates then roll round to push the ball recipient forward as the ball is passed in between players. Not unlike a big, hairy, sweating spinning top.
Probably the most iconic image of rugby is the scrum.
The eight Forwards Bind together with arms locked around each other for support and they then link with the opposition in the same formation. Not unlike a large, hairy insect of many legs.
On the outside, the Props bind either side of the Hooker in the front row, locked in tight by the two Locks behind and the Number Eight has his head between the Locks’ arms on either side. The two Flankers latch on either side to anchor the mass of testosterone, gristle and hair.
No-one really knows what goes on in the middle of a scrum unless you are unfortunate enough to be in there but it’s dark and sweaty, with lots of bad breath from grunts and obscenities. And, most likely considerable.
The Scrum-Half places the ball into the scrum (it must be straight in) and the aim of the game is that the Hooker hooks the ball back with his feet, for it to travel backwards on the ground where the Number Eight passes back to the Scrum-Half or makes a mad dash for it himself, ball in hand.
All other supporting participants must grunt, swear and push forward to keep control and allow the ball to pass back. As your nose is likely up your teammates shorts or in his armpit, having a lack of nasal sense from your smashed flat nose is a huge advantage.
Another classic rugby move, which is unique to Union, the lineout is one of the highlights of the game.
When either a ball goes Into touch (over the sideline), is kicked into touch, a player has run over the Sideline with the ball or a player has been tackled over the sideline with the ball, then a lineout is called to resume play.
Players from each team gather in a straight line facing the sideline, reminiscent of supermarket checkout queues. The Hooker stands on the sideline and executes a Throw-in. The two rows of players must be one metre apart and the ball has to be thrown at least five metres straight down the middle, which begets the question: how is that an advantage? (answer further down the page).
The line of players has to be at least five metres from the sideline and the last player in line has to be no more than 15 metres from the sideline. The number of players in the lineout is variable, with a minimum of two and no maximum. The lineout is formed mostly of Forwards, due to their size, and Locks being the tallest players are key to leaping up to grab the ball or instead, are lifted by teammates. Not a time to get any personal issues about being grabbed round the waist by other big, burly men.
As noted earlier, the advantage in a lineout comes from the coded messages shouted by the Hooker as he throws which lets his team know where the ball will go. This tactic relies on the fact that everyone is using the same code that day!
Surely the true essence of rugby: the tackle. Consider a 110kg, six-foot-six barn door of a man running and grunting towards you with the momentum of an articulated lorry. You have to be made of brave stuff to attempt a tackle and bring him down or like the taste of hospital food. It separates the men with mashed flat noses from the men who like to use facial moisturiser.
An old school rugby tackle involves grabbing a player from the shoulders down - an extreme version of bear hugging. A tackle constitutes fair means to bring another play to the ground (see fouls).
Only the player with possession of the ball can be tackled, you can’t take someone down for the hell of it because you didn’t have coffee yet. You can only tackle in the field of play. The player with the ball must be held by his tackler as he hits the ground and the tackled player must be brought to the ground to constitute a full tackle (one knee down suffices).
Once the player has been tackled, his challenger has to let go, stand up and move back before he can make a grab for the ball.
Once grounded, the tackled player must release the ball and is not allowed to lie on the ground rolling around clutching the ball to his chest like a five-year-old not wanting to give up his toys. He either passes to a teammate or watches it lie on the grass, waiting to be snatched up. To add insult to injury, he must also move away so as not to obstruct the tackler getting at the ball.
Ball play only resumes once all players, but not the tackled and gasping on the ground, are on their feet. The tackler can then make a grab for the ball and run like hell.
A team can have eight substitutes on the bench. Only two front row players (Props and Hookers) can be replaced and up to five others. In certain circumstances three front row players can be substituted.
Once upon a time, substitutes were frowned upon as rugby was a measure of brute manliness and you didn’t leave the pitch under any circumstance, unless a priest was required. Injured player replacement was introduced in 1968.
In recent years, player safety has become more of an issue and rules have accordingly been updated, the Scrum being a particular focus.
Blood substitutes
Anyone haemorrhaging blood is ushered off the pitch immediately and required to sit in the blood bin. A temporary replacement will play for them until they have stopped bleeding on the grass and can re-join play. There is no limit to how many blood substitutes can be made during a match. It’s no surprise this loophole has been abused in the past with sly tricks of fake blood capsules, razor blade nicks and the acting skills of a camp wrestler.
The sin bin
The referee can send a fouling player to cool off in the sin bin for ten minutes, the rugby equivalent of the naughty step. The sin bin player cannot communicate with teammates or be replaced on the pitch. Therefore, woe betides him if the opposition take advantage of a gap in defence to score whilst a player is cooling his heels - his teammates will remind him later in their unique physical manner.